We applaud this warden for recognizing that the law doesn't begin and end with police officers.
"I just moved to Queens. That place used to have street cred... but now people are going to be like 'cool, can you return this package for me?'"
Er, well, the things Jimmy Kimmel wanted her to say as the first lady.
You've seen him steal scenes on 'The League,' 'Parks and Recreation,' 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine,' and plenty more critically acclaimed shows. But now, with 'The Long Dumb Road,' he's moving into the spotlight at long last.
His three-year-old wanted to play "kitchen," but unfortunately the play kitchen set was sitting in his pick-up truck on a driveway covered in a 1/4" of ice.
This is up there as one of the nerdiest proposals we've ever seen, but we also consider that a very good thing.
Blame it on some hard-wired evolutionary affinity for babies or our jaded hearts needing respite wherever we can find it, but we will never not love this genre of online video.
When a kid decides they don't want to move, It can be a real pain to convince them otherwise. So sometimes you have to take extreme measures.
There's a reason most people don't do softball-style pitches when trying to twist off a stubborn cap. Next time, just run it under hot water, guy.
Heeding a suggestion from her dad and brother-in-law, Kimberly Santleben-Stiteler rigged her old wedding dress with $200 of Tannerite.
It's... it's beautiful.
"Allies means friends and friends are good."
"Luke Combs looks like the human manifestation of cornbread."
Mark Wahlberg is a monster who works out at 4AM every morning. James Corden is a monster for deciding he should join him.
Do not pick up a peeler. Do not pick up a knife. Do not pass go, until you get water boiling on the stove.
He still deserves to get tipped extra for this.
This makes as much sense to us as Ryan Reynolds doing the voice over.
We don't know if you've heard, but Steve Carell is a serious actor now. And serious acting forces you to dig deep, even when you're playing roles like Dr. Farts.
God bless her for having such a sense of humor about the whole thing.
A kevlar vest can't protect you from massive embarrassment, unfortunately.
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